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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri May 22, 2009 8:18 am 
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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Bill: Why?
Bob: To get the New York Times!!!!
Bill: I don't get it...
Bob: Neither do I, I get the Wall Street Journal.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri May 22, 2009 2:12 pm 
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GO WSJ!

A man is talking to God after he dies. "God," the man says, "The Bible says a million years is like a second to you. Is that true?" "Yes," God replied. Then the man asked, "So, would a million dollars be like a penny to you?" "Yes," God answered again.

"Okay then, can I have a penny?"
"Sure! Give me a second..."

:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 9:01 pm 
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5 people are on a plane:Ronaldo, The pope, President George W. Bush, Britney Spears, and a school child. The pilot is out cold and the plane is going to crash. There are only 4 parachutes. Ronaldo takes a parachute and jumps. Britney Spears takes a parachute and jumps. President bush rushes, takes a parachute, and jumps. The pope and the child are left. The pope says "Take the last parachute, I lived a full life. The kid says "Silly, there are 2 parachutes left. Bush took my schoolbag." :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 9:18 pm 
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Yankeebros2009 wrote:
5 people are on a plane:Ronaldo, The pope, President George W. Bush, Britney Spears, and a school child. The pilot is out cold and the plane is going to crash. There are only 4 parachutes. Ronaldo takes a parachute and jumps. Britney Spears takes a parachute and jumps. President bush rushes, takes a parachute, and jumps. The pope and the child are left. The pope says "Take the last parachute, I lived a full life. The kid says "Silly, there are 2 parachutes left. Bush took my schoolbag." :lol:

pretty good.
Juan, Pedro, and Carlos jump off a cliff to see who lands first. who wins?




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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 9:44 pm 
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A Frenchman, a Mexican, a Brittishman, and a Texan are on a plane. the pilot says "The plane is too heavy, someone needs to jump off the plane.". The Frenchman said "Viva la France!" and jumps. The pilot says "someone else needs to get off!". So the Britishman said "Remeber the queen!" And jumps. The pilot says "one more person needs to jump!". So the Texan says "Remeber the Alamo!" and throws the mexican off the plane.

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Favorite MLB players: Jorge Posada, Brett Gardner, Robinson Cano, Cal Ripken Jr, and Mickey Mantle
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Help us get Power Pros to the US! http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/pp09


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 10:52 pm 
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Good historical reference! :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 10:53 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 10:59 pm 
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Q: How do you find out who's the richest person in mexico.
A:You roll a penny down the hill.

Ya know who the richest person is?
The one who gets the penny.

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Favorite MLB players: Jorge Posada, Brett Gardner, Robinson Cano, Cal Ripken Jr, and Mickey Mantle
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Help us get Power Pros to the US! http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/pp09


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2009 11:57 am 
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Mike
He's a real player that DrMario made for me.

This is my friend's forum from school.
http://jplaz.com/ I'm catcher51 there, too.

R.I.P. Harry Kalas 1936-2009 "It's outta here!"
R.I.P Jim Johnson 1941-2009 Blitz (need i say more?)

"I'm a dishonest man, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you have to watch out for. Because you never know when they're going to do something stupid."
Jack Sparrow
. Pirates of the Caribbean and the Curse of the Black Pearl.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:38 pm 
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:10 pm 
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Yankeebros2009 wrote:
5 people are on a plane:Ronaldo, The pope, President George W. Bush, Britney Spears, and a school child. The pilot is out cold and the plane is going to crash. There are only 4 parachutes. Ronaldo takes a parachute and jumps. Britney Spears takes a parachute and jumps. President bush rushes, takes a parachute, and jumps. The pope and the child are left. The pope says "Take the last parachute, I lived a full life. The kid says "Silly, there are 2 parachutes left. Bush took my schoolbag." :lol:

that is the greatest joke i have heard in a long time.

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-David Thorne


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:12 pm 
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sorry for double post, but...
why can't helen keller drive?








because she's a woman!

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"I accept that other people have different preferences. Even when those preferences include facial tattoos and stretch pants constructed from sufficient material to shelter a small village. And their livestock. Some men enjoy dancing with other men without their tops on while others prefer the company of a woman two KFC family buckets away from upsetting the planet's rotational axis."
-David Thorne


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:22 pm 
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Yo mama's so poor...I saw yo mama kicking a can. I asked what she was doing and she said, ''Moving.''

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:25 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:28 pm 
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How do you make a baby drink?

Stick it in the blender.

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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it’s still there?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?


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