Power Pros Forum

You knew it was only a matter of time before we got one of these. Just keep 'em clean and we should be fine.

I'll start: Why is S the meanest letter?It turns Pie to Spies and Laughter to Slaughter

Let's START!!!!!

Why was the pirate not allowed to see a movie because he was 12?because it was rated Rrrrrr. (I shouldn't have gone there but I did)

Why do pirates like corn?It's only a Buck-an-ear(Buccaneer)

Why did the turkey cross the road?Because the chicken was on strike!!

a duck walks into a restraunt,so he orders the burger,and what did the waiter say Put it on my bill

Duck walks in to a hardware store.

Duck(to store clerk):Got any grapes?
Clerk:No

Duck leaves and comes back.

Duck:Got any grapes?
Clerk(slightly annoyed):No we don't have any grapes!

Duck leaves and comes back.

Duck:Got any grapes?
Clerk(mad):WE HAVE NO GRAPES NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU ASK ME AND IF YOU ASK ONE MORE TIME I'LL NAIL YOUR LITTLE WEBBED FEET TO THE FLOOR!!!!!

Duck leaves and comes back.

Duck:Got any nails?
Clerk(Still mad):NO!
Duck:Got any grapes?

A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

A man walks into a bar. "Ow!" the man says "That hurt!" (INTO the bar. Get it? Yeah, not funny.)

Why did the man like the cheese? It was very gouda! Not funny either.

You asked for jokes, I gave you three terrible ones!

Three men walked into a bar. The fourth ducked.

Another variaton of yours.

1. The tooth fairy, a drunk old guy, and an honest lawyer all see a $20 bill on the sidewalk, and reach for it at the exact same time. Who gets it?

A: The drunk old guy, because the other two don't exist.


2. Two men, Andy and Steve, decided to see if there was football in heaven, so they agreed that whoever died first would see and tell the other.
Three days later, Andy is killed in a robbery attempt.
That night, Steve is visited by Andy's ghost/angel/whatever.
"So? Is there?" asked Steve.
"Yeah it's fantastic, I'm one of the starters in a league!"
"Cool!" exclaimed Steve.
"I've got good news and bad news, though." said Andy.
"The good news is that I'm playing in the All-Star Game..."
"That's great, but what's the bad news?"
"You're on the board for next Sunday's game."

I'll start with that.

A man is driving on the highway. He sees a rabbit on the road, so he tries to get out of its way. However, the rabbit jumps in front of his car and is run over. The man, feeling guilty, stops his truck. He starts crying by the side of the road because he killed an innocent creature. A woman sees the man weeping and stops her car. "Sir," the woman asked, "Why are you weeping?" "Well," the man replied, "I ran over this rabbit, and now I feel awful".

The woman thinks about this for a minute, and then goes to her car. She takes a spray bottle from inside it. She sprays whatever is in the bottle and sprays it on the rabbit. Immediatly, the rabbit hops up, runs about 20 feet, and waves and them. He runs another 20 feet, and does the same thing. This cycle is continued until the rabbit is out of sight.

"That's amazing!" the main proclaimed. "What is that?" The woman showed him the bottle. It said:

Hairspray
Removes dead hair (hare) and creates permanent wave.

That took long to type.

Boo!

So there are three guys in the middle of a desert:
A French Guy
An Italian Guy
A dumb guy

One of the guys finds a lamp, and a genie appears when the lamp gets rubbed.
The genie gives each of them one wish, but it can't be too big.
"Oh, I'm so hungry, I guess I'll have a loaf of bread." says the Frenchman.
"I'm so thirsty, I'll just have a bottle of wine." says the Italian.

Suddenly, the dumb guy pops up and says "I want a car door!"

The other two men look at him and say "Why the heck did you wish for a car door?"

And the dumb guy says:
"So when it gets hot, I can roll down the window."

One of my all time favorite jokes there.

1. A man is out of gas by the side of the highway. A friendly bee comes up to him and asks, "What's wrong, bub?" The man replied, saying, "I ran out of gas." The bee thought for a minute about if he can help him or not, and he thought of something. So he raced back to the hive to get his friends, came back, went into the gas tank, came out, and everybody except the first bee came back to the hive. The bee said, "Try it now!" The man tried to start his engine, and it worked! "Thanks," The man replied, "How did you do it?" The bee replied...

Do you want to know the answer?









Are you sure?








Alright, here goes...







You have 3 seconds to back out of it...




2...



1...


Here it is:






The bee replied, "BP."

2.What do you call it when a person sits for 20 years in the 24th row of a theater?Living in X-aisle!

From the funniest movie ever, Airplane (I made a topic with its best parts, here: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=2868)

"Surely you can't be serious!"
"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."

What don't you get: The first joke or second joke, and what part?

I get both of 'em.
definitely never heard the first one, thats for sure.
anyways, another one:

Two men were jumping out of a plane (with parachutes)
But there was a problem with one guy's parachute, so it wouldn't open.
He just kept on falling.
The other guy goes "So you think it's a race, huh?" and takes his parachute off.

Bad joke, I know, but...