Power Pros Forum

Is this a girl being mad at a boy who likes her

Ok Let Me Try: (I think it rhymes guys)
I looked at her
It felt like a blur
I started to cry
I wanted to die
It felt like a tree got chopped
I felt like I was topped
My heart was dead
I was put in the shed
I loved her
He loved her
I lost the war
The war of love............................
Kungfupandacam

mmmm no, but you're close.

hoooooo boy, phillies. I read through your poem on the previous page. At first I kept thinking about each line and what it meant, but then I realized that that completely ruined the flow of the poem. So I restarted and just let the words wash over me and tried to picture what was happening as I went.

And then shit got real. And then it got meta. Is this a stream of consciousness maybe?

So I just reread it after understanding the plot and suddenly everything makes a whole lot of sense. The metaphors jump around a lot but I can understand the thoughts they mean to express. Or maybe I just relate to it better than I want to admit haha. Well done

you don't know how happy this just made me hahahaa

and yeah, I think the fact that the lines are muddled has its benefits and its drawbacks. there are thoughts I forgot too, but in general, that was legitimately my stream of thinking on Friday. in case you couldn't tell, I was a bit miffed lol. tbh the idea that it went from metaphors to real is actually very fitting, since that's how my mind is sometimes. of course it doesn't always come across exactly how you want it to, but not everything is supposed to be explicit right? leaving the imagination of the line between reality and metaphor to the reader is part of the excitement. for something written in the spur of the moment, mostly based on impulse, I'm happy with it.

above all in writing I think my goal has been making something you can visualize, since that's the type of stories I like to read.

I think I like love too much because that is how I view your writing.

This is not a short story, but it's a life story.

I urged myself to ask Sara about what had happened Friday, because her response was kind of unclear. It wasn't the right time in class today even with a sub giving us a chart to toil away at. What was supposed to sound jokingly and playful turned personal again, because of my impatience. I'm trying to do things fast and deviating from the process set out. Had I mentioned it off-the-cuff in Spanish, we could have a laugh about what happened, how it was surprising - not focusing as much on the fact that I took it very seriously and wanted it to be seen that way. It's just much too early for her to take in what I said the way I said it and although I'm definitely hurt by being misunderstood, I really shouldn't have jumped so far in the first place. Originally, the plan was to make conversation here and there when I found it convenient, so that she takes a liking and would be more willing to talk. I guess my desperation to make this happen is why I feel down when she doesn't get the "personal" discussion I set forth. In reality, it's a step ahead of where I'm supposed to be.. making the small chat, not spilling feelings. I made the mental error of forgetting that, she's not around to hear how she's cute and you want to talk.. because you haven't gotten far enough as a friend yet to take it further than that. I was doing the exact opposite of that today, pushing myself to bring it up by any means necessary.

You can envision my disappointment when she was talking with two friends the whole time. Even though I should just be happy that she's there, I moped in her general direction, and she would look over from time to time. I maintain that she knows when I have something to tell her, and I'm sure she'd have been cool with me saying something then. That talk wasn't going to happen so I followed her out of the room, realizing then that she had to go downstairs and wouldn't have time to talk side-by-side. That's one of those opportune times to bring up something random to start conversation up again, not asking about my awkward confrontation from Friday. She doesn't want to hear about your dumb note even if it was heartfelt because there was nothing for her to base it on before. I needed to know her more first before deciding to leave a sincere note. Hell, I'm not completely sure about what talking to her privately would be like (as requested in said note), but overall the idea behind the note felt right. I definitely know she's cute though, haha. I determined that it was going to have to be at her locker again before fourth period, our free time. She did have some time to listen, but I could tell it wasn't much because she would glance over at friends. It's still one-on-one time and important talking experience. I made a point to tell her that I came to her locker again so as to not get in her way going downstairs or interrupt her talking to La'Nya and Sierra. What would have been wise to include is that I go to her locker mainly because that's the only place I know for sure she'll be at each time. She remembered what I said last time but kept it casual, saying that it wasn't too odd & she wasn't expecting me to.. [something].

I'm content that she was so calm and collected as I made abundantly clear (or so I thought) the severity of the situation, and that she remembered what happened again. I can't always get a read on if she thinks about our private meetings, however I'm not holding my breath on that. The primary question I wanted a reply to was "Was that what you were expecting?". That's the one I expected to be answered impromptu in class, which we could semi-joke about. The theory is that I could hint how I felt by bringing up the nice note but not make it so serious, just throwing it out there instead of making her deeply think about its meaning. There's not enough time in short casual conversation to ponder deep personal messages.. damn, I wish I knew that sooner. My heart was in the right place in trying to express how serious I wanted the note taken, but my mind should have stopped me from from clouding the judgment of someone who would be a friend (even if I think I want more). The gist being I'd barely gotten to know her through smaller talks, so I wasn't prepared for her to react so indifferent. And honestly it wouldn't make sense from a girl's perspective to feel compelled by an intimacy from someone they are only vaguely cognizant of. It's near-nonsensical for me to have expected her to grasp my aim so early on. Maybe I was more mad at myself for doing something so foolish and wanting glowing joy in response. The compliment would have been more sensible in passing, not as an aside to an intense but earnest articulation. I could definitely have waited a while to tell her I think she's cute or I'm attracted to her, but that's the truth and she would have found out sooner than later. She might know based on how often I look her way or if I smile at her, but I'm not sure. To pull today's meeting to a close, I said I appreciated her giving me the time to tell her what I thought before, and that I really did mean everything I said.

That's when she had to leave and I immediately brooded concerning how I didn't have time to re-address the last part: wishing to talk for real at length in private, not for a few minutes at her locker. I questioned if I indubitably want this.. and if I still do, am I just taking the wrong steps in doing it? Sitting in the library running out the clock to see her at her locker was torture, and I was setting myself up for disappointment. Thinking about her such a great portion of the day only makes it worse if what I layout isn't fulfilled. It leaves me feeling stupid and naive, second-guessing, demoralized. In the end, it became discernible to me that being consumed over it was becoming a detriment. The way it initially was agreed was to act natural, be chill and feel out her reaction as time goes on. I drifted from that too fast in my own selfishness, wanting what isn't realistically ready to happen to be starting now. I let my desire dilute the truth, and things would work out a lot better for me if I expect less and be open to any possibility. Maybe I won't talk to her at all today, just giving warming scans over her, or maybe she'll ask for help and I'll chime in something quirky. After all, being around a girl often, checking her out, and enjoying your experiences is how you begin to like them in the first place. I should be happy seeing her and make out of it whatever is given on that day. She wouldn't want to see me sad, rather confident and funny. The confidence to talk to her the first time is what got me into this, but I haven't been able to follow up when it is more appropriate. I still assert that getting to know her in private (instead of chatting occasionally in class) would be more suitable to go further, but I haven't prepared myself for it reaching that bar. There's always the trick I had to sneakily ask for her number in Spanish when she asks to see my homework, which could be the right gateway to setting up the private talks I wanted. It would still be kind of forward to ask that of her but perhaps she'd think it's amusing too.

What stood out most to me after all of this was when I was dejected in Physics.. I didn't care about anything but what had transpired earlier and was almost willing to forgo the lab. Cameron wasn't there to help so I joined another group and came to this very realization. I needed to chill the hell out and go with the flow, not rushing life and relationships. Before recently, I never let what I thought was necessary get in the way, never let girls and the ensuing drama get in the way of leading a comfortable life. My friends advised me as such, but I suppose I ignored them in thinking it to be critical, when it wasn't. There's a likelihood it being my first attempt was the driving force behind the pressure and stress I placed upon myself, doing it the desperate way I did. I'm happy just seeing her for now, and if a positive step presents itself, I'll take it. I'm happy to see her and when she notices me looking, because she knows.

And now a real life story about the time I was in "Yearbook Class" at my High School for a week:
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In my Senior year of High School, I decided to sign up for a class in the first semester called "Writing For Publication". As you all know, I want to get into Broadcasting/Journalism for a career, so I figured that this would help. I found it a bit suspicious at first, since I didn't see a "Journalism" class in the catalog, like there usually has been in the past, but I figured it was the same thing and went on my way.

Strike one.

The first day of class, I walk in, and the person that I knew to be running the Yearbook program at the time was the teacher for the "Writing for Publication" class.

Strike Two.

She explains that the Journalism class and the Yearbook class were going to be merged into one class this year.

Strike Three.

To this day, I still can't remember why the classes were merged together in the first place. You can imagine that I'm not happy at this point. So, when I get home after that day, I tell my parents what's going on, and they agree with me, and I decided to get out of the class sometime that week. On the second day, a number of students had already dropped the class, all of them from the presumed "Journalism" side of the class. IIRC, about 4 or 5 people dropped after that first day. I stayed on for the entire week, hoping it would get better, and do actual Journalism stuff, but that didn't happen until the end of that Friday. In the meantime, I participated in an assignment for the class that I had no clue what was going on, and even went on a photo taking adventure for JV Football that Thursday, and that's when I just had enough and went home halfway through the game.

I finally got switched out of that class on the Friday, and started the replacement class, a Senior-Year English class, that Monday. The only person left from the Journalism purge of that class was a foreign exchange student, who merged in with the Yearbook class. Turns out that because the classes were being merged, the regulars from the regular Journalism class wouldn't be joining the merged class that semester, and the regular Journalism class got re-established for the final half of the school year. I did not join that, because I felt spurned by that class and how it went.

The teacher from that class resigned from her position as Yearbook adviser and teacher this past March amid an embezzlement scandal regarding over $20k in Yearbook payments and ad sales spanning several years.

And that's the story of how I was in my High School's Yearbook class for a week.
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I may have covered this story in the "How Is School?" section, but I feel like a re-telling was in order.

phillies you've got a lot of potential as a writer, haven't read the thing up above me yet but the poem in the last page has some really great imagery in it and I like it a lot.

I've tried my hand at some poetry / stream-of-consciousness prose and I think some of it's pretty good. I write it all here using the review function. I'ts Cool

thanks matt, I'm happy that it's a least one thing I feel I'm good at. heard similar things from my English teacher and my friends, so I feel validated. let me know what you think of the above story too.

(lmao @ rivers' genius annotations on Thank God for Girls, did I ever mention I want to be Rivers Cuomo Jr.)

That life story was honestly beautiful and soooo true 10/10

I echoe the statements above abt your posts in here Phillies. Finally got around to reading them.

Might post the short screenplay that I'm currently filming later tonight if I get the chance.

Much appreciated, Brewers, Paul. Tell me what parts of it you liked specifically plz!

I would love advice about this too, boys! It's actually happenin' every day for me.

(I secretly told GT, jag, tweav, star about it first lol)

The last paragraph stood out to me. It's hard to think at all sensibly when in the first few stages of falling head over heals for a girl you're just getting to know. Good stuff.

also here is that screenplay we've been shooting in my advanced tv class. it's been a rather challenging, weird, but overall immensely fun shoot so far.

...where lol

also, godspeed Nick!!!!