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Newcastle's board of directors was abuzz. Their manager, Alan Kevin Keegan had announced his retirement from soccer, to spend more time with his family. They needed to find a manager, and fast. The first week of friendly matches was 5 days away! After an hour of fierce negotiating and arguments, one director said "What about Sam Stern?" "Who the bloody heck is that?" said another.

"He's my cousin, who lives across the pond. In America. He's a football coach. Well, American football coach, but it's not that different. 11 players and all.

"American football? are you sure?"

"Trust me Phil, I'm sure. Look him up."

"OK, he's an offensive coordinator for a college squad. Wait..... WHAT?!?! He's only 22 years old! Most of our players are older!"

"Trust me Phil. He knows how to gain respect. He won't cost us much money, and we need a manager bad."

"Well, alright, we'll give him a try."

*Ring! Ring*

"Hello, Stern residence."

"Would you manage the EPL club, Newcastle?" You'd get 10mil a year."

"Me? Yeah, right? Who is it really?

"Your cousin!"

"Russell? Really?"

"Yup! Take it or leave it. What do ya say?"

"Alright!"

"Here are your season goals."


Qualify for EEC

Win F.A. Cup.

Upgrade Scout

Extend a contract to 3 or more years.




Sponsor: Joi Soi Tea
Friendlies: Houston Dynamo, Puebla, Manchester Utd.

Roster:

GK:
Starter
Shay Given 81 OVR Ireland
Bench
Steve Harper 72 England

Defenders

Starters
Steven Carr 71 Ireland
Steven Taylor 76 England
David Rozenhal 80 Czech Republic
Jose Enrique 75 Spain

Bench
Cacapa 77 Brazil
Celestine Babayaro 69 Nigeria
Peter Ramage 69 England
Paul Huntington 63 England
Dave Edgar 61 Canada

Midfield

Starters
Geremi 75 Cameroon
Joey Barton 80 England

Bench
James Milner 77 England
N'Zogbia 76 France
Emre 74 Turkey
Nick Butt 68 England
Nolberto Solano 75 Peru
Damien Duff 75 Ireland

Forward

Starter
Alan Smith 72 England
Mike Owen 84 England
Obafemi Martins 83 Nigeria
Mark Viduka 80 Austrailia

Bench
Shoal Ameobi 75 England

NEWCASTLE NEWS
WEEK 1

SAM STERN NAMED NEW MANAGER


NEW DEFENDER FROM YOUTH CLUB: MAX BARROWMAN


NEXT MATCH: NEWCASTLE V. HOUSTON

looks interesting, I'll follow.

Nice. Go Dynamo.

Man U! JK, I don't know the first thing about pro soccer.

Friendlies
Game 1
Newcastle 2
Houston 3

BOOM GO THE DYNAMO!
Newcastle got off to a quick start when Martins broke through the Dynamo D and pounded one into the top-right corner for a 1-0 lead. Houston striker De Rosario, however was fired up, and ready to retaliate. In the 16th minute, he kicked a low line drive past the keeper, to tie it. Then, in the 45th, he crushed a free kick to make it 2-1. Then, he used a penalty kick to perfection to complete the hat trick. A goal by Viduka couldn't tie it up, so Newcastle lost 3-2

5 goals? In one game?

Isn't this supposed to be Soccer?

Friendly 2

Newcastle 2
Puebla 1

BACK ON TRACK!
The Magpies were trying to get back to .500 yesterday against Puebla, a formidable opponent from Mexico. Both teams played great defense. Neither team got any chances until the 41st minute. Puebla striker Gonzalez smashed one from deep to take a lead. Newcastle retaliated quickly though. Michael Owen took a pass from a corner kick, and tapped it in the bottom left corner. And this was only 30 seconds after Puebla's goal. It looked like it was going to be a draw, but in the 80th minute, Micheal Owen hit a rocket off the crossbar, straight to Ameobi, who hit an absolute firecracker of a header.

INTERVIEW

Phil Merluzzi: Mr. Stern, sir?
Sam Stern: Yes?
Merluzzi: What did you do differently today than you did yesterday?
Sam: Today we started AND finished strong. I think yesterday I kept the starters in too long. Key substitutions in the second half can really change things.
Merluzzi: Thanks for your time

TRANSACTIONS
Viduka sold to FFC for 6mil.

Sam: I'm looking to shore up some holes in the midfield, and have sent some offers out. Let's see what happens.

NEXT GAME

Vs. Man U, then regular season starts.