Power Pros Forum

What's up, stupid. I'm the legendary King Supreme, Kent Murphy. You probably have... wait what? You've never heard of me? I'll dickslap your sister! Stupid! Anyway, I'm Kent Murphy, the best dinger slapper you'll ever meet. I play third base too. I'm currently playing for the Reds. They're lucky. Some stupid scout gave me these goofy ratings:

Trajectory 3
G 2 contact
B 155 power
F 5 speed
D 9 arm
F 4 fld
E 7 e Res

Whatever that means. I'm probably at least a 300 in power. So yeah. I hit dingers like every time. I struck out one time though... oh wait that was just in the other teams' dreams.

So I had to go to this stupid thing called Spring Training. It's just practice, with some useless games every once in a while. Whatever, my coach said it was a good chance to prove myself. Then he told me they already have a regular at third base. That poop eater wouldn't even fight me for the starting spot. Said I have to earn it. STUPID. Then, I went to get my jersey. And some guy named Ken Griffey Jr. wouldn't fight me for number 3 either so I got stuck with #88. I told him he's just a wanna be Dale Earnhardt Jr. Some stupid chick was flirting with me during an interview. She asked me how many wins I'd have and I told her 162. Everyone was laughing though. Then my girlfriend LeAnn beat the shit out of this Mia interviewer chick because she was all up on me. It happens like all the time.

So we had to play a game against the Pirates, and the manager had me batting 6th. So I told him if I hit a dinger, he had to move me next game. Well I hit a dinger in my first at bat, what else would you expect? I flipped the pitcher off the whole way around the bases. Disgraced his family. In the 4th inning, that doofus was still pitching so I hit another dinger on his stupid ass! I pretended like I was gonna charge the mound then and fight his ass, and I'm pretty sure he shit his pants. I hit a stupid double in the 8th and some idiot scored. The coach yelled at me again for throwing my bat at the dugout and not running. We won 6-0.

After the game I got 3 fan letters and had to sign autographs in them. I told coach I was famous already.

For the second game, coach moved me alright... from 6th to 7th in the lineup! I told him I was going to hit 24 dingers this game but instead I only went 2-3 with none... if my stupid teammates could have got me more at bats I would have. We tied 1-1 and some stupid coach told me i had to pay $1,000 for every hit I have this year. I told him I wasn't paying.

In my third game I ate too many cheesedogs during the game and hit 2 flyouts. After the game the coach told me to work on my skills and go to AAA. I tried to fight him but Ken "Dale Earnhardt" Jr. held me back.

The AAA team was a bunch of dickslappers. I worked on my dinger swing until opening day, which was March 31st. I went 2-4 with 2 wussy singles and we won 1-0. In game 2 I was 0-3 and we lost 1-3. On April 3rd, I hit my first AAA dinger. It was a grand salami. I'm the King Supreme. I wasn't surprised. We won 6-0.

We played the *(censored)* Face-Phillies. I went 1-4 with an RBI and we won. In the next two games against Aunt Philly I went 6-8 with 2 homers and 4 RBI's. We won 5-2 and then 6-0. The manager told me to put more effort into defense. I told him to *(censored)* off cuz I'm gonna be playin for the big league team in a week anyways. On the 7th we won 2-0 and I hit 2 solo home dingers.

We had to go to Milwaukee and play the Brewers after that. I got shit-faced drunk with Chucky and Lonnie. Chucky ended up in jail for stealing a car. I made Lonnie break into a grocery store and steal money then so Chucky wouldn't get lonely. The next day we had a game and I was 1-3 in a 0-0 sister kisser. We lost 0-6 on the 9th of April. I got a warning for charging the mound when the pitcher walked me. Maybe next time he'll throw me a stupid strike. I hit a 2 run dinger the next day and we lost again 2-5. My team sucks.

I bailed Lonnie and Chucky out of jail and they went back home to Ohio. I had to go to PITTSburgh though and play the Pirates. We lost 1-0. On April 12, I went ape-shit on the Pirates and went 3-4 with 3 dingers and 6 RBI's. We won 6-0 cuz my teammates can't score without me.

Dale Earnhardt Jr lmao. This log is original and I'm loving it.

After moonwalking across home plate on my last dinger against the Pirates, I went into the dugout and the manager told me that the big league team wanted me. About damn time. I told him to stay sucky and walked out on his sorry ass. Maybe next time he won't try to tell me what to do. Too bad there won't be a next time because I'm gonna hit 18 thousand dingers in the MLB.

After playing only 12 games in AAA, Kent was called up after hitting .512, with 8 homers and 17 RBI's.

Thanks.

I have been and will continue to use big swing on every at-bat because dingers.

What is wrong with you?

C'mon, it's Kent Murphy! Everyone loves Kent Murphy!

Is Janitor Throw an ability?

Is this a log about Kent Murphy or Richard Sherman trying out baseball.

What.


I wish. It's an automatic out.

Easily my second favorite, after the bunting video.

"You'll notice I dived there; you're gonna wanna do that every time, uh, it's boring otherwise, plus it gets the chicks' panties a little wetter."

Hahaha, have you seen the season 2 videos yet? They're pretty good. I like the lineup one.

"Lance, you're catching and I forgot the catchers gear, so good luck back there today stupid."