Washington Nationals - Success.

Me_and_Lucy · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:51 pm

UPDATE: DUKES JUST HIT A WALK OFF HIT!!! WE ARE NOW 6-3.
I come up to the field and hit him with a bag of Teriyaki flavored beef jerkey.

Eric Davis 44 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:54 pm

Me_and_Lucy wrote:

I'll be willing to add that to his contract, if he bats over .300 for April. What does court mean?

My client, Elijah Dukes, is an avid student of sabermetrics and believes batting average is a worthless, outdated statistic. He says his true value lies in his high OBP, his range and powerful arm in the outfield, and his ability to kill a fully grown steer in under 5 seconds using only his bare knuckles and maybe a spoon.

Eric Davis 44 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:56 pm

Me_and_Lucy wrote:

UPDATE: DUKES JUST HIT A WALK OFF HIT!!! WE ARE NOW 6-3.
I come up to the field and hit him with a bag of Teriyaki flavored beef jerkey.

Teriyaki!?!?!?!!! Now you've done it . . .

Me_and_Lucy · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:04 pm

Eric Davis 44 wrote:

Me_and_Lucy wrote:

I'll be willing to add that to his contract, if he bats over .300 for April. What does court mean?

My client, Elijah Dukes, is an avid student of sabermetrics and believes batting average is a worthless, outdated statistic. He says his true value lies in his high OBP, his range and powerful arm in the outfield, and his ability to kill a fully grown steer in under 5 seconds using only his bare knuckles and maybe a spoon.

His OPS is .727, which is really "high". Its pretty average. Dukes shall be sent down to AAA IF his attitude doesn't change, and possibly traded.

Eric Davis 44 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:33 pm

Me_and_Lucy wrote:

Eric Davis 44 wrote:

Me_and_Lucy wrote:

I'll be willing to add that to his contract, if he bats over .300 for April. What does court mean?

My client, Elijah Dukes, is an avid student of sabermetrics and believes batting average is a worthless, outdated statistic. He says his true value lies in his high OBP, his range and powerful arm in the outfield, and his ability to kill a fully grown steer in under 5 seconds using only his bare knuckles and maybe a spoon.

His OPS is .727, which is really "high". Its pretty average. Dukes shall be sent down to AAA IF his attitude doesn't change, and possibly traded.

Clearly, this organization undervalues my client's 6th tool: spoon-fighting horned livestock. Perhaps a trade to the Rangers would be beneficial for everyone involved. I mean, just think of all the steer Dukes could spoon-fight in Texas!

Me_and_Lucy · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:36 pm

Dukes has been fined 1,000 for improper conduct. He will be sent to therpy 5 times a week, twice on weekends for his personal issues. The therpy will be payed by the team unless Dukes would wish to pay for it himself.

Longball714 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:02 pm

Wow this is going to be one interesting season...

Belliard volunteers to be traded to the Diamondbacks for Orlando Hudson, if possible.

Redsoxman53 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:04 pm

can I be a pitching scout

Eric Davis 44 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:06 pm

Me_and_Lucy wrote:

Dukes has been fined 1,000 for improper conduct. He will be sent to therpy 5 times a week, twice on weekends for his personal issues. The therpy will be payed by the team unless Dukes would wish to pay for it himself.

Just to clarify. Was my client, the venerable Elijah Dukes, fined for conduct improper toward the team . . . or steers?

Longball714 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:12 pm

I want to be both a pitching and a hitting scout!

(trust me, I pretty much know all of the cheap players on all the rosters.

)

Me_and_Lucy · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:16 pm

Eric Davis 44 wrote:

Me_and_Lucy wrote:

Dukes has been fined 1,000 for improper conduct. He will be sent to therpy 5 times a week, twice on weekends for his personal issues. The therpy will be payed by the team unless Dukes would wish to pay for it himself.

Just to clarify. Was my client, the venerable Elijah Dukes, fined for conduct improper toward the team . . . or steers?

Venerable isn't really a good word to describe him on the field, mabye off the field. I'm really impressed by his work ethics, but he has to work on attittude and such. It is towards the team. The team doesn't revolve around anyone, there is no super-super-super star. Everyone is treated equally.

Me_and_Lucy · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:23 pm

Longball714 wrote:

I want to be both a pitching and a hitting scout!

(trust me, I pretty much know all of the cheap players on all the rosters.

)

Ok but don't try to make uber scary trades. I'll keep it realistic and I'm not going to try and do too much the 1st few seasons.

nats+expos05 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:25 pm

I choose Willie Harris because hes probably in AAA or on the bench

Longball714 · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:46 pm

Me_and_Lucy wrote:

Longball714 wrote:

I want to be both a pitching and a hitting scout!

(trust me, I pretty much know all of the cheap players on all the rosters.

)

Ok but don't try to make uber scary trades. I'll keep it realistic and I'm not going to try and do too much the 1st few seasons.

naw, don't worry, most of the best "cheap" players I know are above average but not superstar players.

MaL, give me a list of your most important needs and I can help you find a suitable player.

Me_and_Lucy · **Posted:** Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:58 pm

My Pitching is average. Only Zimmerman and Johnson are driving in the runs. Cordero has been solid.

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