Power Pros Forum

Player Update

Sgt. Pepper came out of his office.

Pepper: Everyone! Get on the team bus, we're taking a little trip.

Goldman and his two GM's appeared in the locker room. They looked prepared for this. They all got on the bus questioning where they were going.

Paul: Where are we going?

Mick: Isn't it obvious? He is punishing us for the whole Las Vegas debacle.

Brian: Oh, yeah. The night where I let the stripper shave my beard and it grew back before Pepper came back!

George: Or when I beat Hulk Hogan at thumb wrestling.

Ringo: Or when we stole that world famous diamond and sold it for double it's worth and got away with it.

They all cracked up.

Azul: Amigos, this is not funny! The Pepper says we all start with one strike!

Keith: Shit.

Charlie: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Keith: No, but I kissed your mother with it.

Oh Snap.

Charlie: Yeah, I seem to remember you being the only one who listened to Sgt. Pepper and stayed in your hotel room.

Keith: You blockhead! That didn't happen. One question, why does she talk like there is a trombone halfway down her throat?

Things were about to come to blows when Pepper stepped in.

Sgt. Pepper: Hold up! We are about to meet a Japanese team that has already won two championships like us! Are they better than us? *(censored)* no! Do they serve a challenge?

Sittch: Probably not.

Pepper: Shut up ginger!

Chris: What did you expect? He's the ginga' ninja.

Pepper: Shut up! Anyway, we can't get over confident!

Mick: Dude, we just won our second straight World Series title, why face a bunch of Japanese players?

Sgt. Pepper: First off, don't ever call me dude. That's strike two. Everyone already has one strike.

Azul: I informed you thusly.

Pepper: Second, we can't get lazy! Especially with all the new players coming into the league. Anyway, we need to impress these guys, so whatever you do, don't talk.

Paul: Oh, God. Remember the last time you told us not to talk? We almost died.

Pepper: That would be soooo terrible. No shut up! I need to make a call to this team's GM. I know Japanese along with every other language known to man. Yes even the one you guys made up. So if their is anything I think you should know, I'll tell you.

Jorkins: If I may, sir. I can translate for them too.

Pepper made the call. Soon they reached the airport.

Pepper: Welcome to Pennsylvania! Home of a rich sports history and some damn good beets. Mr. Allen you are familiar with America, but what about your players?

Goldman: Don't answer that now! I talk! I'm a billionaire who came from the mean streets of Bel Air as a kid. I aspired to get everything I want when I grow up. And I still don't consider myself grown up.

Sittch disappeared using his weird tree trick.

Joey: Hey guys. Glad you're hear-

Players: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Jack: What the hell was that?

Pepper: The players screamed in pain from not talking for thirty minutes. Anyway, tell us about yourselves.

There were too many parts where I laughed to quote them all. I'm excited!!

Aw damn, it's on now.

Does that mean PPFan comes up with the next part?

I echo both of the posts above.

Indeed it does, I'll be getting one up soon.

(in like an hour or two)

Wow, that was cool!

Can't wait for more!

Let's do it! As soon as Dish gets the Mendenhals log going, I'd love to see a crossover involving them!

There would be a problem. I am releasing Dan Potter, Cy Seville and WildThingJr. into other teams on the MLB, but they are on the Mendenhals. Plus, no matter how good you guys seem to think the Lnigts are ( ) neither team would be any match for the Mendenhals.

But, we will see how the first to series' go and then PPFan and I might keep this going annually.

Hey man, the Knights beat the Mendenhals 2-0, and we've improved since then too.

So, there.

Also, update relatively soon.

On paper, let's face it. It really isn't close. In real life could the 2012 team USA beat the 1992 dream team on any given day? Of course, but that does not mean they are a better team. Pound for pound, the Mendenhals are a lot of this websites best players.

November 3, 2009

9:57

Upon further inspection, it seemed that an entire team was behind the military man, who I would assume was Sargent Pepper. The one I talked to on the phone.
"Welcome to Pennsylvania! Home of a rich sports history and some damn good beets. Mr. Allen you are familiar with America, but what about your players?" he said
A large man, dressed in a suit walked up behind him.
"Don't answer that now! I talk! I'm a billionaire who came from the mean streets of Bel Air as a kid. I aspired to get everything I want when I grow up. And I still don't consider myself grown up." said he.
Someone with some serious hair problems then magically disappeared, well, at least he thought he did. In actuality, he was just hiding behind a cloth that looked like a tree.
And, after he did, all the players screamed!
I'll tell you, it was ear-piercing.
"What the hell was that?" I asked
"The players screamed in pain from not talking for thirty minutes. Anyway, tell us about yourselves." Pepper responded
I had to think for a second, but said "We are the Kyoto Knights, a new expansion team started by Matsuo and Kiyori Kanegi, who decided to start up an NPB team in their hometown. I was previously the GM of the Hanshin Tigers, a struggling team, akin to the Red Sox, and lead them to a pennant. My players here were all hand picked by me, and my team of 4 other guys. They're all young, with the exception of the captain, Nomoto, and are full of fighting spirit! We've won 2 pennants since arriving on the scene, and have appeared in 3 Championship series'."
"Do I care? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE?!" Pepper said, yelling
"Well, uh, I mean, you just asked... So..."
"I told you not to answer him, boy!" The fat man added in.
"Well, who are you, anyways?"
"You mean to tell me that you don't know who I am?! I'm none other than William Goldman, the greatest man to ever live!" Goldman (apparently the greatest man ever) said
"Greatest ever, you say? Then why have I not heard of you?" I, wittily, responded
He lacked an answer, but mumbled something under his breath
"NOW, KNIGHTS, YOU LISTEN AND LISTEN GOOD. THERE AIN'T A CHANCE IN HELL YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO BEAT US! YOU GOT THAT?!" Pepper yelled
His players agreed.
"Arrogance is one of my least favorite things, you know that?"
"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?!"
"No, you don't. But, let it be known that the Knights should most certainly not be taken lightly. We will surely come out on top."
Everyone started yelling and screaming.

One thing's for sure, and that's that this will be interesting, no doubt.

"When and where is this series?! Anytime's good for me!" I shouted

Office reference?

Yeah. I always like to throw in a few Office references. It is Scranton, you know.

Player Update

At Knights' Hotel

Sgt Pepper: Okay, boys you get situated with the Knigts players while I take Allen out and see if they might want to play us again next year. Oh and when I mean get situated, I mean don't talk to them.

The Stranglers all nodded like little angels.

Pepper went to Allen's hotel room, but couldn't seem to shake Goldman and Sittch off his trail.

Sgt Pepper (thinking to himself): At least Host is here. It seems as though I can trust him.

Pepper started to knock,


Sittch: GINGA' NINJA!

He did a flying kick on Pepper, to which Pepper countered with an insane knockout punch.

Pepper: What the hell was that for?!

Goldman: I told him to, I always knock on hotel rooms numbered 1345.

Yost: The number is 1355.

Goldman: Close enough.

He knocked on the door.

Jack: Uh, oh. Hello. Mr. Goldman, Sgt. Pepper, Joey, wasn't there another?

Goldman: Look down.

Jack: Why is he unconscious?

Pepper: He tried to challenge me. Anyway, excuse me for my arrogance earlier today. I am a very humble man with morals. Please forgive me.

Jack: All is forgiven. With a track record like yours, how could I not?

Pepper: Anyway, how would you like to see the town?

Jack: Oh, uh sounds great. Anywhere I can pick up groceries?

Pepper: There are a few I know of.

MEANWHILE DOWNSTAIRS IN THE LOUNGE

DING! DING! DING!
Manager: What?!

Mick: Why aren't the Knights down here yet?!


Manager: Did you mean the knights from the renaissance fair in town or the baseball Knights?


Mick: Holy crap! There is a renaissance fair in town? Sweet!

Paul: Ahem.

Mick: Oh, yeah, the baseball Knights.

Manager I will send them down.

The Knights came down, but nobody really knew what to do. So both teams just stared at each other. Awkwardly, then, patrons started staring awkwardly because, well, when do you see two baseball teams staring awkwardly at each other. Armed robbers came in, but everyone was two busy staring at each other to notice so the armed robbers stared awkwardly too. This created what went down in history as the awkwardest moment in history of awkward moments all thanks to the Scranton Stranglers and the Kyoto Knights. This moment was broken up mercifully when a light bulb appeared over John's head.

John: HEY!

Crowd: *sigh* Finally

John: These guys are from Japan, right?

Pablo: Yeah, so?

John: That means they speak Japanese, but not English.

Chris: I never would have guessed.

John: So they don't understand us which means we can say bad words about them.

They all lit up with excitement. This truly would be great.

Azul: The Pepper would not want us to.

John: Since when do we listen to the drill sargent?

Azul: The Pepper will give us a second strike.

John: Stop calling him the Pepper. Jeez. Anyways, who wants to start?

WildThing: I will! Here I go: These guys are stupid.

They all cracked up as some of the Knights talked amongst themselves while some were still in post-awkwardness shock syndrome.

Brian: No, no. I have a better one. You guys are really stupid!

Again they cracked up.

Charlie: You guys are so stupid, that you are stupider than a really stupid person.

They laughed again. The best part was, they couldn't understand what the Stranglers were laughing at.

Ushida: Uh hey guys, I can speak English quite well and have been translating everything to my teammates. Oh, yeah. We have been calling you bad names also.

Mark: Jorkins! Translate.

Jorkins translated

Mark: I'm not even going to read that.

George: This guys is some computer geek. No way he plays baseball.

Ushida: I do play baseball. And I plan to play it well against you guys.

Ringo: Guys, let's not argue. Ushida would you and your teammates be willing to start over?

Ushida: Of course.

Mark: So you will be the translator for them and Jorkins will translate for us.

Ringo: And we will convert it all to English for the readers.

Ushida: What readers? What the hell are you talking about?

Jorkins: The fourth wall, is an imaginary wall seperating the audience and the characters. Ringo here just "broke" it.

Mark: Damn. Jorkins is malfunctioning. I'll have to fix him. Ha, imagine if we really were controlled by a geeky fourteen year old boy and he controls everything we do. Man that would be screwed up. Said geeky fourteen year old boy could actually make us win every game or be perfect human beings.

Chris: Or he could make us fight each other to the death to see who wins.

Mark: Good thing that is just complete and total crazy talk.

Both teams had a good laugh and the ice was seemingly broken.

MEANWHILE AT A DOWNTOWN FIVE STAR RESTAURANT

Jack Allen had his groceries and they were going to order dinner.

Jack: Hey, thank you guys for taking me out to dinner.

Pepper: The least we could do would be to buy you dinner.

Goldman: Who said we were paying! It'll come out of your paycheck, Pepper!

There was an awkward silence.

Joey: Welp, that was awkward. It felt like that was the awkwardest moment in history.

Sittch: Nope. There was one back at the hotel that was awkwarder. Believe me, I know awkward. I could sense the vibrations. You merely adopted awkward, I was born in awkward. The awkwardness betrays you!

Jack: What?

Sittch: I'm a spy!

He used his vanishing tree trick.

Another little awkward silence


Jack: He has a nice little brown cloth there.

Pepper: Yeah.

Goldman: I'm still not paying.

The players were deciding what to do with themselves.

Brian: I vote for a strip club!

Paul: Brian, we were banned from all the good ones in Scranton anyway besides, most of us are in a relationship.

Kura: Any type of club with girls would be preferable.

George: That guys has serious swag swag.

Chris: lol, he looks like Justin Bieber.

Oda: Who is Justin Bieber?

Jorkins: I am an ultimate source of knowledge open to anyone, sir, but quite frankly, you do not want to know.

Oda: Okay, then. We could go to an amusement park.

Pablo: Let's go then.

They went to a place called Scranton Funland. It was home of the underwater rollercoaster, the Skull Crusher.

Everyone seemed to want to go on that. Everyone except for Masato Kurihara, Chris Kennedy, Ryan Howard, Kanazawa and Mark.

Chris: So, that thing is pretty damn scary right.

Ryan: Not, really. I just want to wait because I don't want to get on with WildThing.

Kanazawa: I'm waiting for the line to die down.

Mark: I'm scouting the area, I have work to do.

Chris: So I'm the only one scared shitless by this thing?

Kurihara: Actually, man, I feel your pain. I mean, it is called the Skull Crusher. There are batting cages here. I'll take baseball over getting my skull crushed any day.

Chris: Thank you. Masato Kurihara, right? You're like the best in the NPB.

Masato: Whoa, whoa. I wouldn't say tha-

Kanazawa: Yes. He is. How do you know?

Chris: I do my scouting reports.

The others went on the Crusher while Mark went off doing his work.

Kennedy and Kurihara went to the cages. They didn't have a translator, but they didn't really need one. They didn't speak. Just swung. Beautifully. It made spectators cry. Hell, it made those weird ass carnys cry. Both admired each others swings and showed nothing, but respect. Giving the universal language, a thumbs up or a nod of approval each time one would really connect.

Once they were out of tokens, they decided to go meet the others.

Once Kennedy got there, though he was ambushed by players of the Lnights and Stranglers and strapped onto the Skull Crusher.

Chris: Shit! Get me off of this thing! Why the *(censored)* did you do that! Heeeeellllllp!

He was off.

Paul: Man, 250 ft in the air, 90 mph at it's top speed and four under water loops.

Kurihara: You guys shouldn't have done that, you knew he wouldn't react well.

Paul: Relax, he is fine.

He was, until they saw one of the last ramps before going underwater.

John: What the hell?! How did that happen?!

Nomoto: He'll die! Stop the damn coaster!

Kurihara: See what you guys did!

Then they saw it. The car ran off and then the explosion that ensued.

The Stranglers were speachless. Not only had they lost one of their best players, but they had lost one of their best friends. Tears were in everyone's eyes. The Knights were more scared. They did not know this kind of trouble that the Stranglers got into.

Azul: The Pepper will give us strike number three.

Mick: Why would it matter? Who cares? Kennedy's dead. And without him, so is this team! So is this city!

Reginald: I thought you didn't care.

Mick: Who are we fooling? We all cared!

Kurihara: YOU FOOLS! You imbeciles! Why did you do it? Why? What is wrong with you?!

The Knights were taken aback. They had never seem Kurihara like this before. The Stranglers were more scared because it was a giant yelling at them in Japanese.

Mark: What happened! Where's Kennedy?!

Keith: Dead.

Mark: Not on my watch! Jorkins! Find Kennedy!

Jorkins: Kennedy located. May I suggest using extend mode to get him.

Mark: You read my mind.

He extended his arm to Kennedy's location, but there was roller coaster debris.

Mark: Blast mode!

He blasted the debris away and picked up Kennedy bringing him back.

Mark: Okay, not good. He's alive, but barely. Does anyone know CPR?!

No one stepped forward.

Mark: Dammit!

Jorkins: I know CPR.

Mark: Could you teach me?

Jorkins: It would take to long. The paramedics have been called, but he might not make it.

Paul: There has to be something we could do!!! Anything!!!

Drunken Bearded Lady Carny: May I be of assistance.

Mark: NO! Jorkins! Blast mode!

Jorkins: You read my mind.

She was blasted unconscious.

They all got ready to cry again.

OUT OF WAY!!!!!

Keith: Who the hell was that?!

Pepper: I KNOW CPR!!!!!

The Players were shocked.

Jack, Joey, Sittch and Goldman followed lagging behind.

Ushida: Jack, how the hell did you guys get hear?!

Jack: I don't know. Are you guys okay? What is going on?!

Sittch: It looks like Pepper came here to kiss Kennedy.

Joey: You, idiot! He's saving his life!

Goldman: By kissing him?

Pepper came up, but Kennedy did not for a second, then...

Kennedy: *gaspig for air* I'm alive.

The others cheered not like little golf clap cheered, but more like "OMFG ! The Chbs just one their first WS ever and I've been a fan all my life" cheered.

Brian: Drinks all around!!!

Chris: How'd you get me out ofthe water?

Pepper: Actually, that was Mark.

Chris: Oh, then how did you get here?

Sgt. Pepper: I could sense you guys being idiots a mile away.

But the rest of the team finished the last part simultaneously because they had heard it so often.

Chris: Anyway, let's do it again!

Pepper: Hell, no. Go home. Go to bed.

Goldman: If he is injured, he is fired.

Pepper was going to thunder chop him, but Yost beat him to it.

Pepper: How?

Yost: I'm a fast learner.

Later Mark and Kennedy were walking home.

Mark: You know, it's funny. How you were almost going to die.

Kennedy: It's funny that I almost died?

Mark: Let me finish. It seemed as though someone was controlling me today. And how Pepper got there is beyond me. Maybe there is a geeky fourteen year old.

Marvin: Of course there is, Cheif! It's all a game!! Always!! I tried to tell you before, but now I am back for revenge!

Jorkins: Sir,

Mark: One step ahead of you!

He blasted the blond freckled weirdo out cold.

Chris: Thanks. There are a lot of weirdos out here. But continuing our conversation, I couldn't disagree more. I was praying the whole time to God on that ride and you know what I was praying for? Sargent Pepper. God sent him. Mark, if a fourteen year old kid is controlling all of this, even he couldn't have saved me. Only one man could have kept me alive: Sargent Pepper.