It was a cold day in the Arctic as usual. Billy was sleeping in his dimly-lit room – he was afraid of the dark – and he opened his eyes slowly to the sound of the morning penguin call. The penguin chanted at the top of his lungs at around 7 in the morning every day to alert the penguins to get up and collect today’s fish.
Billy got out of his bed reluctantly and started to waddle towards the kitchen. Billy was an average heighted penguin – about 3 feet 7 inches – and he had one other very unique thing about him: he only had 1 flipper. This took a major toll on his swimming ability. He found it very difficult to swim for prolonged periods of time.
The kids in his penguin school always seemed to be making fun of him because of it. Plus, Billy’s family wasn’t exactly prosperous so they couldn’t afford much. But, there was one penguin in particular that really got Billy mad. And that penguin was Brandon, a surly penguin who went to school with Billy.
Brandon had been mean to Billy for as long as he remembered. Even way back in preschool Brandon had always pushed Billy around and stole his snack. But today was different. Today Billy was going to get back at Brandon.
Billy stumbled into the kitchen. His mom was preparing a fried fish for Billy’s breakfast. “Good morning, Billy!” his mom said to which he replied with a grunt.
Billy sat down at the table not before getting a glass of desalinized sea water he had gotten a few days before. He took a sip from the water and his mom came over and gave him the fried fish on a plate. Billy managed to scarf down the fish in seconds flat.
The school bus honked its horn outside Billy’s igloo. “Bye, Mom! Love you!” Billy said as he rushed to get his backpack and shoes on. He waddled out the door and the door slammed behind him.
Upon getting on the bus, Billy watched for Brandon. He spotted him sitting in the very back, sitting with a bunch of his friends, burning an ant with a magnifying glass and tinfoil. Figures, Billy thought. Brandon would kill a harmless little ant. Billy sat towards the front of the bus, away from Brandon. When he got off the bus Brandon caught up with him.
“Hey, One Flipper!” Brandon taunted. “Go try to swim!” Brandon pushed Billy aside as he walked past him. Billy heard Brandon’s friends laughing as they walked away. That’s it, Billy thought. I’ve had it with Brandon and his mean-ness. Time to get revenge.
Billy went to school and tried to learn for 7 hours, but his mind was on something else. He was going to get back at Brandon today after school. He was devising a plan to get back at him the whole day, and he was pretty sure he had flunked his history test in the process.
At the end of the day, Billy went up to Brandon. “Hey, Brandon,” he said, “Want to come to my igloo? I can help you with your homework if you want.” Brandon snickered, and sarcastically said “Whatever. Sure.” They got on the bus and got off at the same stop.
Brandon walked into Billy’s house and said “Wow, nice place you got here.” in a sarcastic tone. Billy’s mother walked into the scene, and said, “Billy, who’s this?”
“This is Brandon, my friend,” Billy said.
“Okay, why don’t you take him into your room, Billy?”
“Okay, mom, just wait one sec, Brandon.”
Billy waddled into his room and started to scheme. He put a bucket on his igloo door so that it would fall off and hit Brandon in the head on the way down. Billy was so proud of himself for thinking this up. He was starting to have second thoughts; what if this hurt Brandon? Billy shook them off and showed Brandon to his room.
Brandon opened the door and the bucket fell as planned. It hit him square on the head as Billy cracked up laughing. Billy went up to Brandon, and tapped his shoulder, saying, “Hey, wasn’t that funny?” But Brandon wasn’t awake. It seemed he had passed out. “Oh, no! I killed him!” Billy said.
Billy’s mother came over and said, “You didn’t kill him, he’s just fainted, and you’re in big trouble. But for now we have to get this boy to the hospital!”
They all piled into the car, and went to the hospital. Billy asked, “Is he going to be okay?”
Billy’s mother said, “Of course he will be, don’t worry.”
The next day Billy went in to visit Brandon in the hospital. Brandon looked fine to him. He waddled up to his hospital bed.
“Brandon?” Billy said. “I’m sorry that I did that…it was uncalled for and mean. I’ll never do something like that again. I’m so sor-“
“Billy.” Brandon cut him off. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it. I had it coming to me anyway.”
“Really? You forgive me?”
“Yes.”
“Alright, thank you, Brandon!” Billy joyfully exclaimed. Billy waddled out of the room happily.
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I wrote it as logically as possible while being nonsensical. It's pretty great
