ESPN "Right Now"
"Hello Rachel Nichols here, recent allegations from anonymous sources at 'mlbppworld.com' have released this rattling info, here is Chief at the press confrence."
[cut to press confrence]
(flash of cameras)
"It's a sad day for 'mlbppworld.com' we recently discovered in a random drug test that a certain member of our forums has been using post enhacing drugs or as I will refer to them throughout the rest of this conference 'PEDs'. lanceberkman started using such PEDs June 24th of last year, since then lanceberkman has had 4743 posts."
(muffled whispers and general disapproval)
"Lance has frequented the PED 'Free for All' and has used it exactly 2343 times. This has been 49.4% percent of this users posts. Of course we will wipe those records leaving lance at exactly 2400 posts, still second on the all time list. As of now he will not be eligible for the 'MLB Power Pros World Hall of Fame'. Until we see any changes lanceberkman will be suspended for 50 days."
A dishelved man with an Astros cap yells, "50 days!?! That's 14.03 posts a day that will not be contributed!"
"Silence, I will not have this kind of malarkey!" Chief yells over the ramblings. "Now I am open to questions from the press."
(Sir! Sir! Sir!)
"Yes you in the blue coat" Chief points to the man.
"Yes, Cincinnati Enquirer, Doesn't this seem kind of a childish thing to do?"
"What?" Chief stands up, "I'm a Man, I'm 40! I'm not a kid"
"Oh ok sir sorry" the man sits down.
"Ok next", Chief sits down. He points to another man.
"Uh yeah, St. Louis Post Dispatch, What do you think about this after the Stevenjackson39 scandal, of course he was innocient and quite a guy but what do you think about lanceberkman?"
"What?" Chief furiously stands up, "If you want to crown him, Crown his
ss.""No I don't, but what do you think of him personally?"
"His is who we thought he was!"
"Really? He is? What did you think about Stevenjackson39?"
"We let him off the hook!"
"Ok... no more questions."
"Thank you" Chief is furious now, he manages to spurt out "Any other questions?"
"Yeah, uh, Indianapolis Star, What do you think of your guys playoff chances after this huge loss?"
"Playoffs?! Wha, Don't talk about Playoffs! You kidding me?"
"Ok, we get the point Chief, no more questions."
"One thing before I go, all I have to say is, Who all seen the Leprechaun say YEAH"
(Chief storms off the stage to muffled laugter and whispers)
[Cuts back to Rachel, who is rolling on the floor laughing]
She struggles to get back up and have a straight face, "Obviously a very touchy situation here, Rachel Nichols from Houston. Back to you guys."
We love ya lance, keep up the posts! 4743 WOW
