Power Pros Forum

^ Well, the next few bits will be VERY deep. But for this bit, it's up too YOU. HERE IT IS!!
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The rest of the supposedly innocent guards were dismissed, and sent away to their quarters, or posts if they were on duty.The man who let Jack go felt horrible. He had taken a life by accident. In the night, he heard a loud " Bang!" , followed by a low moan of grief. After that noise, the night was quiet as an empty house, void of any visitors. All the men knew what happened, but it was in their training, not to feel pity for ones demise.

Wow. That's creepy. Well-written though.
I tell you, if you can extend this enough, you could publish it (there's a shot)

Thanks Sjax! I'm really hoping, I've already got 2 editors, 1 of which has published( i think) a few books!

Sooooo....WHO READY FOR MORE???

I AM! PICK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Oh wait, I'm not in class...

yep!
let's see it.

Ok, guys, REMEMBER GIVE SUGGESTIONS! BTW, in these next few bits, there some " language", Darn, is supposed to be well, the OTHER D-word.
I'm loking for some predictions, including on his mom.
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The man countinued wandering in a northernly direction. Hoping to soon stumble upon the rumored "haven". He imagined the place being like home.A place, like heaven. This brought back his memories of childhood; they brought great joy, but also grief and misery.He tried to shake the subject out of his head, but it wouldn't stop lingering in the back of his thoughts.'Why'd it have to be mom......' he wondered ' She never did a darn thing to deserve what she got, not a darn thing......'

nice!
anything about the father?

^ Sjax, don't rush me! It'l all come into focus in soon time.....But trust me, its NOT what you think, wait...what DO you think?

Ok, who wants some more?

Me.
After a couple more bits, you should make a post that compiles the whole story thus far (such an awesome phrase)

I thought of a huge twist, maybe a twist that wouldn't make the book as great and alittle irrelevant, but I was thinking what if the prison warden of the prison was his father?


It's a big twist, but I'm not sure how'd you incorporate it, he'd have to get caught, find a family relative, have to go back for some reason. Actually to build off the last one think of this, he DOES make it to the haven but he goes back to prison to rescue more prisoners and bring them to the haven. Like what happened in the Civil War with Harriet Tubman who went back to free more slaves.

^ Intresting.. I'll try to find that out somehow. It won't be EXACT but it will have something with what you mentioned, but that'll be in the middle, not the end. I've got something special for the end....

sweet.

Hmmm, I'm going off on a limb and speculate that....


He meets up with 1 or 2 others that are trying to make it to the haven. And it ends like "I am Legend" where he dies but devises a way to bring down the well whatever it is.