Power Pros Forum

Granted, it is too heavy for you to pick up.

I wish for some applesauce.

Granted, but there are chopped onions and jalapeños in it

I wish I had a cookie

Granted, but who said anything about eating it?

I wish the Phillies would be good again.

Granted, but they don't win the World Series in their time of goodness, causing bad draft picks, and eventually causing a never ending World Series drought

I wish that I had a Tropical Steak

Granted, but it tastes bad and gives you no baseball-related advantage.

I wish I was a foot taller, without gaining more than 30 pounds

Granted,but you gain 100 pounds instead of 30.

I wish for psychic goggles

You get them, but upon wearing them you're blinded.

I wish for the Orioles to make the playoffs.

Granted, but they get blown out 23-0 in the one game wild-card match

I wish for nothing

Granted, you now have nothing

I wish my crush liked me.

Granted, but she likes you as a friend

I wish my mom would be quiet

Granted, she never talks for the rest of her life.

I wish I could hit the ball 400 FT.

Granted, but it goes straight up in the air

I wish I had cookies that I can eat that would not kill me or anybody else in any way

Granted, but you choke on it, but the choking is not enough to kill you.

I wish that I met Alex Rodriguez.

Granted, he's a complete dick to you and shoves you away when you try and talk to him.

I wish for a completely functional industrial-sized fan that could not physically harm anyone or anything.

Granted, but A-Rod destroys the fan, causing it to break and set itself on fire. The fire engulfs your body, causing you to die an extremely painful death.

I wish to stand in a room full of angry poisonous scorpions