Power Pros Forum

Granted. You shatter social boundaries by dating your Crush, but you cut up your peepee trying to have intercourse with a soda can.



I wish I had a Crush

Granted, but the orange crush contained poison.

I wish I had JPPY '13

Granted but the disc and your wii become corrupted and are unable to work

I wish I was Barry Bonds

Granted but you and up in prison for lying in court, and you best Bubba the love god in the shower.

I wish for Brewers tickets!

Granted, but now you're forced to watch the Brewers.

I wish all my pets would stop dying

Granted, but now your poor pet's aging process is stuck at one second before they die so they are all in extreme pain but are forced by you to live forever.

I wish that I had a new set of golf clubs

Haha, jokes on you! All my pets died suddenly!...

Granted, but all your clubs are actually sandwiches.

I wish for a dime.

Granted but you drop it down a storm drain on the street.

I wish for a dollar.

Granted, but it's ripped into 7 pieces

I wish the MLB would expand the league and add two more teams, including the Expos

Granted but the Expos end up being even worse than they are in your OOTP log.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you get sucked into a key engine and die a bloody, painful death.

I wish for a laffy taffy

Granted, but it's so sticky all of your teeth come out while eating it.

I wish I didn't have to wake up so early today.

Granted, but I don't see why you'd really want 10 extra seconds of sleep.

I wish that my fantasy baseball team would do better.

Granted, you gain 0.5 point in the standings

I wish my dream from last night made sense

Granted, your now understand that you regularly have wet dreams about trees.

I wish I had a sword.